Change

Posted: March 3, 2014 in Other Stuff.....

Well… I knew that 2014 would be a year of change. I welcomed it. And even though so far it has been hard changes, I find myself having to, once again, learn to be content. To be thankful in EVERYTHING because this is the will of my Father for me. Tonight, after dropping my pen to the point of frustration, I am having to start an online journal. Some say this would be more of a “diary” because a “journal” is something you take with you on a journey somewhere and a diary is an “everyday” type of writing. This, is by far, a journey to me!

So, yesterday I had to write Bro Rex and officially step out of choir. That was so hard. I cried into the night over it. But my body just cannot handle being up there anymore. Out in the audience I am able to sit, stand, move around to stretch, etc… I can’t up in the choir loft. I will still praise my Lord whether in a choir loft or not… He is Worthy no matter what. It was the not being able to be with my choir family to praise the Lord with. I am not sure how to explain it to where anyone outside of choir can understand, but there is a bond, a love, a unity, a brother/sisterhood. All serving One Lord, with one heart, one voice, in the same stride, with the same passion and love and power. A group of 100+ members all seeking the Lord’s face. That is what I am having to step down from and it broke me. The Lord is good though. Even when it hurts. Even in my loneliness. Even in this place, my Lord is so good to me. I am thankful that I have a best friend who calls me every day without fail to make sure I am doing well and she will get me out of the house at least once a week. I am thankful I have a sister who will text or call me throughout the week to tell me stupid jokes! I am thankful that I have two dogs who know when I am having a rough day physically and will bring me all their favorite toys and surround my bed with them so make me feel happy! And yes, they literally do that! I am thankful that the Lord has blessed me with enough money monthly that I can sponsor two beautiful children in Haiti and be able to send them little gifts. I am thankful for this laptop and this site so that I can still journal even when my hands can’t grip that day. And the list can go on. I still have my mind. I can still read God’s Word. I can pray. I can sing. I can still drive. I have a comfortable bed to rest in. I have a bunch of Ted Dekker books still yet to read! One of my exercises for  my hands and arms is playing guitar and that is an awesome thing! Ball season is about to start and my best friend and her husband are willing to get me or meet me there to watch games and visit with eachother and Keith almost always pays for dinner for me! So… all this to say I am blessed beyond measure even in the midst of difficult changes. Don’t be fooled though, I do have my down days which will show up in this in days to come. I am not super human. I am just trying my very best to be content and thankful for and in everything because the Lord, for whatever reason, has seen fit to allow this and His promise is that it is for His Glory and my good.

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